Youtube: Old fart, never shuts up, loves fast food and staying inside, cuddles animals, can also be scary.

Instagram: Beautiful, B-list celebrity, appreciates art, emo, shy, needs a haircut.

Facebook: A mess, a huge buzzkill, pronounces gifs as “jifs,” loves wine.

Snapchat. Little hottie, always thirsty, fears emojis, can eat 90 hot dogs, loves TV, weirdo.

Twitter: Will never shut up, always screaming, no attention span, meme master.

LinkedIn: Has only laughed twice, thinks Pixar movies are just OK, loves bread, cries at sunsets.


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