By Ya Chica Ivy

Miami Dolphins assistant coach Chris Foerster resigned today after a video surfaced of him snorting lines of a white powdery substance (gee, what could that be?) off a desk at what’s believed to be the team’s training headquarters. In the video, which was shared by a Vegas model whom the 55-year-old offensive line coach was apparently romantically involved with, Foerster is shown using a rolled-up $20 bill to snort the substance, prefacing his rail-slamming session by saying, “”Hey, I miss you…Thinking about you…Last little bit before I go to my meeting,” as well as a really lewd comment about licking the substance off the model’s genitalia. In tendering his resignation, Foerster released a statement which read in part, “I want to apologize to the organization and my sole focus is on getting the help that I need with the support of my family and medical professionals.”


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